A woman wrote to Miss Manners and asked if it is etiquette-proper to mail wedding thank-you notes AFTER the honeymoon. Miss Manners’ response clashes with that of The Knot.
Before we get to her response regarding the WHEN of thank-you notes, let’s hone in on a second element of the controversy, the WHO gets thank-you notes issue.
The woman writing to Miss Manners asked,
“Is it permissible to combine the thank-you notes for wedding gifts with the thank-you note for attending the ceremony itself?”
Miss Manners quickly sets her mind at ease on this issue:
“You will be relieved to hear that it is not obligatory for hosts to write thanks to their guests for their attendance.”
By contrast, The Knot said you do need to write to guests who attend, but don’t give gifts (for the record, up to 20% of wedding guests don’t give a gift):
“It’s proper etiquette to thank your guests for sending a gift AND attending your big day, and this is one wedding rule that won’t go away.” [Emphasis added.]
As to the question on when wedding thank-you notes need to go out, Miss Manners says you should send out notes WHEN gifts come in, and that you shouldn’t wait and let them pile up to be handled after the honeymoon.
On paper, that seems like a good idea. You’ll make your life a lot easier if you stay on top of wedding thank-you notes.
Although The Knot agrees that it’s a good idea to send out wedding thank-you notes as gifts arrive, they fudge on the when. They encourage you to send them out within two weeks of gifts received before the wedding date. But otherwise, you’re covered as long as all have been sent within three months of your wedding date.
One area on which you can never fudge is the entertainment. Entertainment makes the event. Fun is the essence of a successful wedding reception, and a packed dance floor is the essence of fun. That’s what Columbus Pro DJs specializes in. Check us out to see why Columbus couples keep our schedule booked.
