Wedding etiquette is an unrelentingly complicated business, it would seem. Just ask Miss Manners, who is peppered with one ticklish situation after another. The latest: a bride is ticked because her guests didn’t send a congratulations card after the reception.
Here’s the issue: It was a second marriage for both. Apparently, they had a private ceremony, and after the fact, hosted a wedding party/reception. The bride even donned a gown.
The invitation said: NO GIFTS. But … couples were encouraged to make a donation to one of the couple’s favorite non-profits (list included).
The party included catered meal and open bar.
What could go wrong?
It seems the bride is ticked because no one sent her a congratulations card following the party. She griped that …
“We truly and absolutely do not want gifts, but is it wrong to want people to take five minutes to write a card? Is there any polite way to figure out what the heck happened (and if maybe cards did get lost)? And if not, or if it turns out a whole lot of friends and family just failed to do even the most minimal thing to honor our wedding (and marriage), how do we get over this?”
Miss Manner’s droll response:
“Try really, really hard.”
She had no sympathy for this bride, who berates her guests who didn’t understand her ‘subliminal messaging.’ Even more, some folks don’t like making donations to a cause they may not believe in.
This blog encourages couples to send out thank-you notes on a timely basis. But it’s uncommon to hear of a bride who berates her guests for not sending her a congratulations card after the reception.
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