What makes marriage great? Commitment. What’s scary about marriage? Commitment. The reason married people are happier, healthier, live longer, are wealthier, and have happier and healthier children is built upon a foundation of commitment. And commitment isn’t scary when it’s made out of love.
So what is love? And how do you know if you’re in love?
We asked a machine (A.I.) what it thinks love is. And it flunked the test. Here’s what it said:
“Love is a complex emotion involving deep affection, commitment, and strong positive feelings for another person … It’s a combination of psychological and biological factors that includes intimacy, passion, and commitment, and it can be expressed in many ways, such as acts of kindness, words, and spending time together.”
All true. But love is more than emotion. It better be, because emotions are fickle. Every human relationship at some point hits a rough patch, and emotion isn’t enough to sustain couples for the long haul. Love is a choice. It’s a decision. Love means to will the good of the other. It is other-focused, not self-focused. It is complex because it is a choice AND a feeling.
When you marry, your guests weep tears of joy because you have publicly committed to confine your romantic feelings exclusively and permanently to your spouse. It’s awesome. So worth it. And something worth celebrating.
So how do you you know if you’re in love?
Here are 7 signs of love:
1. Mutual support and respect: Do both parties recognize the relationship is a 2-way street. Let’s say you experience a tragedy, perhaps the death of a beloved grandparent. Does your lover make your sadness easier to handle? If yes, that’s a darn good sign. Is your lover willing to make sacrifices on your behalf? Good sign if the answer is yes.
2. Acceptance: No one’s perfect. Do both parties recognize that and accept the other’s flaws? Wedding jokes abound about wives wanting to change their husbands, like this one found on Reddit:
A man told a friend: “Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking, and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market.”
His friend remarked: “Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically.”
He answered back: “I’m not bitter. Now that I’m so improved, she just isn’t good enough for me anymore.”
Does that mean you shouldn’t encourage personal growth in the other? Of course not. But remember there is a difference between encouragement and nagging.
3. Compromise. Relationships require give and take. If one side does all the giving and the other does all the taking, that’s not a sign of love.
4. Security. When you fall in love, you begin to sense that your beloved is your home, your source for safety. Everyone longs for home, and love leads you to this timeless desire.
5. Open communication. When you reach a point where you feel free to sharing thoughts and feelings without fear of judgement, you’re on the road to a loving relationship.
6. Honesty. The open communication listed above builds trust, which relies upon honesty in little and big matters. Deceit kills relationships. Honesty builds them, leading to the essential sign of love:
7. Commitment. Love is ultimately a decision. Will you take all of the six signs above that suggest you are in love, and make the final leap: marriage? Marriage is commitment, your decision to stand by each other in the face of life’s inevitable ups and downs. It is the most profound decision you’ll ever make, and the most beautiful.
This beautiful decision is worth celebrating. That’s where Columbus Pro DJs comes in. We specialize in providing world-class wedding entertainment for the most important, beautiful day of your life. Check us out.
