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How to give a witty wedding toast

By May 2, 2022Toasting

witty wedding toastHow do you give a witty wedding toast? It’s easy: borrow from the masters. Search engines make it very easy to mine a treasure trove of wedding witticisms.

Some reading this are naturally witty and don’t need to read further. However, most of us future wedding toasters could use a little help. Many online wedding witticisms tend to be on the sarcastic side, like Johnny Carson’s thoughts on the subject:

“Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.” – Johnny Carson

Keep in mind that Mr. Carson was married four times, so perhaps he’s not the best arbiter of what is a sound marriage. If you used a quote like this, you can transform it from caustic into sweet with just a little massaging, something like this:

“As I stand before you tonight to honor my friend, [name], and his beautiful new wife, [name], I am reminded of a funny one-liner from legendary talk show host, Johnny Carson, who said:

“Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.”

Funny, isn’t it?

But Johnny Carson didn’t know [groom’s name]. I DO know him, and ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you that this man WOULD die if that’s what it took to protect [bride’s name].

Yes, it’s important to keep a sense of humor in a marriage, and this couple knows how to do that. But even more, it’s important for a man to be a man when the stakes are high. There is no doubt that this man would lay down his life for the woman he loves.

That’s true love.

Would you all please raise your glass and join me in honoring this couple who testify to the beauty of true love!”

Witty. Warm. And yet not a bit wordy. You can give a toast like this in less than a minute.

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